"I'll have you know, you quarrelsome dustmop, this lap is a royal lap. And as everyone knows, royalty means perfection."

He drawls this proclamation, turning a page in his book unperturbed. He wouldn't have minded terribly, he supposes, if Da Qing had insisted on it but he's just as happy not to have to negotiate it.

"Be respectful or I shan't speak with you." Yes he will.