All through the month of August

[qingofcats]

Who: Da Qing and YOU
Where: All around the Clipper, especially the tree and the catwalks
When: throughout the month
Warnings: none atm, will add any if they come up

Da Qing has yo-yoed from Assistant to Patient a good few times already in the time he's been here--he's a very cute kitty, after all, but he's also cynical, snarky, mouthy, and prone to clawing up people who irritate him. Which means he never manages to stay an assistant for very long. Honestly... he's not happy here? But he's not happy at home either, and it's not such a bad life. At least he doesn't have to see Zhang Shi walking around wearing Zhao Yunlan's body like a badly fitting suit, with all the mannerisms and expressions that made Zhao Yunlan himself, and Da Qing's master and best friend, gone or badly parroted. Or go home to Lin Jing living in the apartment that he and Zhao Yunlan had shared for so long, knowing he and his mess and laziness, or Shen laoshi and his neatness and good cooking, will never be there again.

So maybe this is kind of like living in some saccharine children's show half the time, and a rabid free for all some other part of the time, but at least it's away from that. And the food's not bad, even if there's never quite enough fish. The food at home hadn't seemed like anything special without lao Li's dried fish or Shen Laoshi's exquisite cooking anyway.

None of that, of course, means he has to be nice, or well behaved... which is a big part of why he keeps bouncing back to being a Patient every time he 'graduates'. (Graduates, what a joke. He's the ten thousand year old King of Cats, and he's never graduated from anything and never needed to before this.)

He shows up at the morning singalongs just because it's an excuse to sing the song of his people at the top of his lungs and drive everyone, especially the Assistants who take it seriously, up a wall, and no one can say he isn't trying or being 'well behaved', at least at this. He's singing, isn't he?

He naps in various spots (and positions) on the great tree, as well as the catwalks and the garishly colored furniture... and in other peoples' rooms. And on other people if they sit still long enough and he either likes them or wants to irritate them (and knows they won't do something awful to him in retaliation).

He offers running commentary on other peoples' activities, no matter where they are or what they're doing, usually snarky. And loud.

And at meal times he has to (annoyingly. The WORST part of being stuck in this form is NO THUMBS, though otherwise he'd rather this than stuck on two-legs) prevail upon someone else to carry his food to a table... and then more than likely harass them for some of theirs, or simply make the rounds begging, quietly or loudly, from anyone who has something that looks interesting, or looks like they could use some harassment (either because they're an asshole or because they're not and maybe need some company). (Fork he hates that he can't even swear in his head. Or even in cat.)

And speaking of cat, he's also known to occasionally perch on the rails, or a branch of the tree, and caterwaul at the top of his lungs, running through every curse word he knows in every language he knows (which is quite a few, now that he has his memories back. He's been alive for ten thousand years of Chinese history, after all, and even if almost everything between his youth and the present is still blurry and indistinct, because Yashouren minds aren't meant to hold thousands of years of memory, he does remember bits and pieces of a lot of languages) and then yowling about how there's not a single language that the Nurse doesn't censor curse words in. And since he can't curse in any language, he rotates through an assortment of, more or less creative, insults--he's currently partial to 'stupid monkey humper' or telling people they look like the wrong end of a baboon. (And that's just almost as frequent for people he actually likes.)

[For Zhao Yunlan]

The clumsy Taylor person with the butterfly whiskers told him his stupid, thoughtless, self-sacrificing, neglectful, suicidal idiot of a Master is here somewhere, and Da Qing is going to find him. Now. And then he's going to rip his face off. And then he's going to never let him out of his sight again. Which is why he's currently running up the stairs to the catwalks above where she'd said she'd last seen him, yowling at the top of his lungs. "Zhao Yunlan! ZHAO YUNLAN! WHERE ARE YOU YOU MONKEY-FACED PIECE OF STINKY TOFU!" (Tofu is a complete waste of time and energy to fake being food, it's the worst insult he can think of right now, all right?!)

Comments

[packhound]

Mikodez has been brought up properly - alright, there's some debate over that, from multiple sources, but he doesn't go around just grabbing animals. Even if he really wants to because he likes cats and a talking one might be easier to get hold of than more 'normal' ones who don't always love his inability to keep still.

But he knows how to be polite.

And he happily takes an excuse to try to climb up the tree. To say hello. It's only polite and definitely not reckless or dangerous.

[qingofcats]

Da Qing lifts his head to look down at the little face peering up at him. Another one of the kittens that seem to run rampant around here... he has no idea what the Nurse is thinking with them, but they're mostly not a problem. For him. They're generally good for ear skritches and treats, at least, and this one's pretty polite, even if he's squirmy. Kittens are supposed to be squirmy.

"If you fall out of the tree it's absolutely not my fault," is his oh so polite greeting.

[packhound]

"I wouldn't fall." Alright, there had been that one time, but it hadn't been his fault, really.

"But if I did, it wouldn't be your fault." It would be unfair to say it was. And go against Mikodez's pride. "There's a whole lot of new people here, huh."

[qingofcats]

"Absolutely right," he agrees. Definitely not his fault, even if the boy's climbing up to see him.

"My master's here," he tells him with clear pleasure and pride. And he is, in fact, keeping an eye on Zhao Yunlan from his perch, because he'd been serious about not letting him out of his sight. Fortunately the Clipper provides plenty of vantage points so he doesn't have to actually follow him around everywhere... that's entirely too much walking and talking and generally getting involved in other peoples' business.

[packhound]

"Oooh, he is? Which one?" Mikodez cranes his head, trying to see what new people are about, though he does manage to keep hold of his grip on the branch.

[qingofcats]

"That one, there." Da Qing uses a paw to point to where Zhao Yunlan is talking to a small group of people in one of the sitting areas. "The good-looking one with the whiskers... but don't tell him I said that." Because he has enough of a swelled head already, but sometimes a cat just wants to brag about his kitten, all right?

"He's chief of the Special Investigations Division back home, and I mostly raised him from a kitten."

[packhound]

Mikodez examines Yunlan, critically. "I suppose." He's perfectly fine looking, probably, but his hopes had been briefly raised that he'd look like a cat. Teidez has a cat ear headband and that's very cute. Just some guy is enough to flop more across a branch.

"What's Special Investigations?"

[qingofcats]

Da Qing gives him a disgruntled look; he goes to all the trouble to actually acknowledge that lao Zhao's attractive for a human and that's all he gets? Then again, he is talking to a kitten, he should have expected as much.

"We're responsible for keeping humans safe from Dixingren criminals... and Dixingren criminals safe from human retaliation." Because they'd actually done that under lao Zhao, unlike under his father.

[packhound]

Mikodez didn't say he was boring looking out loud or anything, even though the Clipper has some much more interesting looking people. The job is much more exciting.

"Ooh, so it's about aliens, right? Back home all the aliens are far away, which is probably good because they take out all your bones and put in flowers and then you can't go in space right and probably die. Unless cats are aliens. Then I've seen a lot in person. Re-Re cat's had kittens and I saw all of them so."

[qingofcats]

Smart kid, most people wouldn't get the alien thing, or even believe it. Does he realize they're talking about a completely different concept of aliens? Not at all.

"Yeah, right. But I'm the only cat who's an alien, and only descended from aliens who made themselves into cats... probably a pretty long time before I was born. And Dixingren aren't cats. Or crows or flowers or snakes. They just always look like humans and have fancy powers."

He wrinkles his nose, insofar as a cat can, and asks, "Is that their power? Replacing bones with flowers? It sounds... not very useful. And kind of gross."

[packhound]

"If I was an alien, I'd make turn myself into a cat. Or a bird, there are insects that also fly but they always seem pretty dumb, and dogs are boring. Ooh, fox would be best if I could have three tails or maybe four, I don't know if I'd want nine, I bet the balance would be weird." A lot of aliens look close to human, and that's boring.

He shakes his head, making a chopping gesture with one hand. "No, they cut out the bones an probably use knives and not anything special and then put in the flowers and then they use it for their powers. Or the take out people's eyes and then stick them on their heads so they can control minds."

[qingofcats]

"Foxes are stinky and more than one tail would be awful for balance," Da Qing points out, whiskers and tail tip both twitching in disdain. "Cats are definitely the best choice. I don't think there were ever any bug tribe Yashou, and if there were they probably all got swatted to death, or sprayed with pesticide." It would have been a really stupid choice for their ancestors.

"Well that's disgusting. What's a kitten like you doing even talking about that kind of stuff?"

[packhound]

"Not a regular fox, more like a kumiho. They live in the dark and eat your liver, so they probably smell like the dark instead of like a fox. Maybe the eat the heart instead, or too. But that's still a lot of waste. And most meat doesn't taste that good without the sauce so maybe not." Preferably extremely sweet sauces at that.

"My sister told me about them. I think she was trying to scare me but I can read a map and so I said it was very far away and then she threw her slate at me but I still also got in trouble for bothering her even though I wasn't." He sighs, heavily. Life can be very unfair.

[qingofcats]

"I guess they probably wouldn't stink if they existed, but they don't. I'd definitely know if they did, after ten thousand years.

"And meat is excellent with or without sauce, something must have warped your tastebuds. Fish is best, but any kind of liver is next best."

[packhound]

"It tastes all boring. Honey glaze and fruit is good, but I don't think they put that on liver. I don't know that I've had it on fish, either."

[qingofcats]

"Yep, you definitely have screwed up tastebuds. Maybe you should jump in the fountain and see if that fixes them."

[packhound]

"You probably just can't eat it properly when you're like this, so your tastes are all messed up!"

[qingofcats]

"My taste buds are the same as a human's when I'm shaped like you," he points out. "Plus, I'm pretty sure most humans agree with me, so yours are the ones all messed up." He's ten thousand years old, but absolutely not above arguing with a grade schooler.

[packhound]

"But you know humans on Earth, who are probably aliens, so it's not a good measurement." Mikodez has had arguments with cats who can't talk, so this is a step up on his side.

[qingofcats]

"No, that's wrong. The humans aren't aliens at all, the Yashouren and Dixingren are the aliens." At least get the basics right, kid.

[packhound]

"They're not aliens on Earth, but I'm not from Earth." Devastating logic there.

[qingofcats]

"So then you're an alien, 'cause humans are all from Earth." Equally devastating logic!

[packhound]

"I'm not an alien, because the Hexarchate is much bigger, so there's more places where I wouldn't be an alien. And if we're talking here, than everyone's an alien. Except the Nurse."

[qingofcats]

"I don't know where your Hexarchate is, but humans are aliens everywhere but Earth, since that's where they're from. You go galavanting around the galaxy to other places and you're aliens by definition." Hah!

[packhound]

"But we don't even know if when I say humans and you say humans we're even saying the same thing. We're not speaking the same language anyway, so it could just be a translation and actual humans are from the Hexarchate and you just know Earth humans."