(no subject)

[pharadyne]

[After the Nurse explains the situation, Norton mulls it over for a little while. He'd wanted be a warden, but this wasn't exactly what he had in mind. Still, he can make this work for him, might even come out ahead. It's certainly a far better outcome than he'd been expecting when they'd first been told the Authority was closing in on them. This is the best chance he's had in the last two years to be saved from ever being sent back to his fate in the time loop of forever dying. Because if there's one thing he can do very well, it's act happy no matter what. Once, to save his life, he made himself grin his way through weeks of alien suburbia hell giving cheerful open house tours of modern kitchens and also leading whole families to mass graves. Compared to that, this is child's play. Possibly literally if the décor is anything to go by. A few months of this and he can save himself.

And so he smiles brightly as he appears on the network in the morning for the first time.]

Good morning, my ducklings, it's another bright and shiny day here on our good clipper ship. For those of you who don't know me, my name is Norton. I'm a new Assistant. Isn't that dolly! And I'm so very looking forward to meeting each and every one of you. But for now, let's start the day off with the right spirit.

[And with that he starts singing Accentuate the Positive.]

Comments

[everythinglost]

I take back everything I've said.

I'm pretty sure I actually hate you. [Really getting off to a good start on this positivity thing.]

[pharadyne]

Now now, Fitz, that's not a very nice thing to say at all. You'll never graduate with that attitude.

[everythinglost]

First step is radical honesty. [He could really use a cigarette.]

[skitter]

[Taylor does not look well. She's hollow-eyed, her eyes not quite focusing, and her head not steady. She has to swallow hard to speak.]

Have you seen Dad anywhere?

[pharadyne]

[Norton's smile falters slightly.]

No. I--

I don't think he's on the roster here. But wherever he is, I'm sure he's fine. A warden or whatever the equivalent is on whatever ship he's on. Probably more worried about us than concerned for himself, knowing him.

But you look awful. Do you need the Sick Ward?

[skitter]

I'm not sick, they didn't let me bring my forki- my bugs.

If you're a warden here, is there any way to find out where he is? Or- I can't find Jon or Tim, I can't feel Shen Wei...

[insinceresmile]

Oh, you must be one of our new friends!

It's so nice to meet you!

[pharadyne]

Yes, that's right. Very new and very friendly. And you are...?

[insinceresmile]

My name's Hua Cheng. [Such a friendly young man, pleased to meet a new coworker. If there's a sense of something insincere under his smile, well, no one's been able to prove it to the Nurse yet.]

Have you gotten the full orientation?

[lonelinessloop]

[ This one seems to be taking their arrival pretty well! Maybe he'd be up for something? ]

Good morning! It's very nice to meet you, Norton-san. My name is Sawamura Haruka, but most people just call me Haruka. Welcome to the ship!

[pharadyne]

[That name seems familiar...]

Good morning, Haruka-san. It's lovely to be here.

[lonelinessloop]

[ He'll get to see her clap and do a little happy twirl at his response. She's so glad he's glad to be here. ]

I'm glad you think so. I've been here for a while, so if there's anything I can do to help make things better for you, let me know! I'm happy to help.

[ Norton may be able to tell the mix of genuine joy and excellent customer service voice she's got going. Time in the public eye, greeting fans, doing events and talk shows... she knows how to be positive and upbeat and make it look good. ]

[grantedglory]

You know, it's kinda funny that you said 'ducklings', cause my name is Duck? But I'm not a duckling, obviously, I'm just a totally normal girl.

[ anyone who's been on the Clipper for a while knows that is a damn lie. ]

Oh, and you've got a lovely singing voice, Mr. Norton!

[pharadyne]

Thank you, petal. There's lots more where that comes from!

How did you get to be named "Duck?"

[grantedglory]

Oh, uhhhhh, my parents just named me that.

[ she is a terrible liar ]

It's a weird name, I know.

[saloonkeeper]

Who can I bribe for a pair of earplugs? No price is too high.

[pharadyne]

Absolute rudeness aside, in the past I'd maybe see a business opportunity in this [sing songs and then also sell someone the earplugs needed to avoid the singing] but I've turned over a new leaf.

Anyhoo, I assume it's just the choice of song you object to, honey, because I know for a fact that my singing voice is lovely. So next song gets to be your choice, how about that?

[cobbledtogetherenvy]

How many times do you think your skull would bounce off the squishy furniture before something snapped? I'm ready to find out.

[pharadyne]

You. Of all people, why are you here?

[goosethief]

[A kid who 1) does not know the song, and 2) has possibly the worst grasp of a tune Norton has ever heard shimmies his way over, doing his very best to belt along.]

[pharadyne]

[Turns out, that's a very good way of getting Norton to cut off the song as soon as he gets to the end of the stanza because he can't take very much of that. This is the problem with the "along" part of sing alongs.]

Well...good attempt, poppet.

[punched_hitler]

[Steve maybe tried - several times - to make this private. And can't. Well. Sugar cookies to that.]

Oh, come on. That's song's a little too on the nose, isn't it?

[Also, hey, are you actually okay?]

[pharadyne]

Looking around, I don't think this place is one for subtlety much.

Good to see a familiar face that isn't Fitz. [He likes Fitz, but sometimes he doesn't like Fitz and right now is one of those times.]

[wildguardian]

Well, would you look who graduated after all.

[Yunlan's tone is deeply ironic.]

[pharadyne]

Yes that's me, all graduated, deemed by the Authority or the Nurse or whomever to be an appropriate guide to help save the souls of the less virtuous.