Blue Jay Way

[everythinglost]

Who: Fitz & open
What: Getting the lay of the land
When: Early August
Where: around the Clipper
Warnings: tba if needed

Fitz is well aware that it says something about his lifestyle that the Clipper reminds him of several places he's ended up over the years. On the other hand, being chained in a dank basement would also remind him of many places he's been over the years, so he generally figures it's not worth thinking about. The familiarity isn't a good thing - and the lack of cigarettes, drinks or a fudging door just rub in a short list of what he hates about it. But it does stop any particular outbursts of anger. He's not resigned to it, so he keeps his cool.

For the most part, he goes through the motions of playing along. He slouches, half-asleep in the common room during singalong, wincing occasionally. He reads in an overly comfortable chair, trying not to roll his eyes too often at the content. He tries to find someone to sit with during meals, and even actually enjoys the bathhouse. But, while he usually can't muster up actual cheer, there is a certain focus under the surface, which can be rare to see in him.

He's also doing his best to keep an eye on his friends, to see how they're handling it all. After all, part of 'familiar' also means knowing how much it sucks to play along - and some of the consequences to failing to play the part.

Comments

[wildguardian]

"Paddies," Yunlan offers, with a wince. "Fair enough. Not that it's impossible to gain genuine and sincere personal fulfillment from farming but you know, I think that should be left to the people who feel it naturally."

[everythinglost]

"I'm sure some people do, and considering the amount to time when farming is necessary, that's probably a good thing. I certainly have never felt anything close to it naturally. Honestly, more disturbing than the whole 'I have ideology now' part. Both because I did mostly fail to actually have ideology, and also 'cause if I had and it did make me feel personally fulfilled, that would probably be slightly less unnatural."

[wildguardian]

"You know," Yunlan observes, "there's something ironic in the fact that the farming whammy took more than the ideology whammy did, considering that."

[everythinglost]

"I can see the potential irony, but I think the more important element is that they didn't actually care about the ideology. Putting aside 'do what your told' as an ideology, that is."

[wildguardian]

Yunlan lets out a bark of laughter at that. "The true mark of the ruling classes! The real ideology is do what I say."

And he doubts Fitz is actually wrong about that analysis. Shaking his head, he shoves himself up off the couch entirely.

"I do get that same vibe off the Nurse here. Doesn't matter what you think, just that you put on the gosh-darn happy face."

[everythinglost]

"Exactly. Though I got that less from the Nurse and more by looking at who was picked to be an Assistant. There are a couple of shared qualities."

He shrugs.

"Not great, but at least there's an illusion of a choice in there."

[wildguardian]

"I'm not bad at faking it, but you know, Fitz, I have to say I've got a real objection to signing up to fake it lifelong and forever."

He scowls, staring off into the middle distance.

"I'd rather not graduate than that."

[everythinglost]

"Hey, that's my entire life philosophy you're knocking."

It's an easy joke, though perhaps a little too true.

"Anyway, I'm not actually saying that we should resign ourselves to this forever. I just think that it's easier to take action when you start with an accurate judgment of the current circumstances."

[wildguardian]

"Yeah, and I think you and I have had a few conversations about how you shouldn't do that," Yunlan tosses easily back. It is a little too true for a joke. He lets his eyebrows quirk up, considering Fitz for a long moment before continuing.

"So... what kind of 'accurate judgment' are you looking for here?"