It was reassuring, really; it's just that Steve is afraid to let himself be too reassured, too sure, because that's when things really hurt. When you think you'll have them forever. When you let yourself start to think you will. And then they disappear.

"No, I - I know," he mumbles into B's shirt, still holding on tight, knowing he's ruined the moment but it's like he can't breathe, he can't stop holding on. "I know, it's not you. It's not you."

He doesn't want B to think it's on him, to stay, when whatever tears people away seems to be something that has to do with Steve and his lousy luck. Bad karma. Damaged soul. He doesn't know.

"I know I always said I didn't want you on the Barge," he manages to say, throat feeling far too tight. "But I did. I do. I want you around. I want this with you."

And now they're not on the Barge. And B hates it. And Steve hates it because B hates it; much less so for himself.