004. video/spam

[wildguardian]

[He settles himself on a sofa in a corner of the common area, along the very base of the tree, and lifts his wrist to a comfortable level to smile at the camera. He's done this before. It's performative as fuck, and he doesn't enjoy it, but it's past time that he got over his sulk and started getting people motivated here.]

Good morning, Clipper! Some of you I know and some of you are strangers, but we can welcome one more lovely day on this new boat together regardless. To the strangers: Zhao Yunlan! Formerly of the Barge, and even more formerly of Dragon City's Special Investigations Department.

I thought I'd take this opportunity to talk to all of you about happiness. Peace. Indeed, justice itself -- because I'm sorry to say I think our dear Nurse's head is not in the right place on those topics, and we could all get some better results with just a little change of perspective.

Anger, you see, is the natural response to injustice! Think back to the last time in your life you got real peeved -- what caused that emotion? I bet you were thinking, That's just wrong, or You can't treat me like that, or How could you do that?

It's a powerful feeling, and don't get me wrong, it sure as heck can be misdirected and cause some real harm in the world.

But the true cure for anger is to gather the strength to go after injustice. Not listening to happy music and putting on a smile. You know it as well as I do! Don't you feel that anger lingering in your heart as long as the wrong goes unfixed?

[He grins at the camera, sharp.]

Who ever repaired a wrong just by saying they were fine?

[And with a grand gesture of his free hand:]

I open the discussion! How do we make a better world? How can we improve this good ship?


Spam

[Zhao Yunlan spends most of his first week either moping in his room or moping generally around the ship. He'll participate in his assigned shifts, but he's hopeless in the kitchen and hopeless at custodial work, outside of the truly unskilled tasks like emptying garbage cans and hauling buckets of soapy water.

Once he's gotten his week of uselessness out of his system, he's choosing to become aggressively involved. Expect him to plop down next to you on the couch and strike up a conversation, Barge transfers and Clipper natives alike. He'll volunteer to tell stories at storytime, and launch into tales of war or murder investigations past if he's able to take the mic. He'll... be stuck washing dishes on every kitchen shift, because he doesn't seem to have the least idea of which flavors can safely go together and which ones will create a heart-rending abomination of a dish.

Sometimes, after the evening storytime but before it's late enough to sleep, he can be found leaning on the railing and staring up at the treehouse and the useless, opaque ceiling above it, lollipop stem jutting aggressively from his lips, expression very far away.]

Comments

[wastedluck]

[The voice makes the rabbit pause - in midair, upside down, between the couches - and look back at Yunlan with a surprised look in his pie-cut eyes.]

What's the rush? [Hah, puns.] Ain't there plenty a' couches round here? Half this place is made of the darn things.

[But saying that, he drops like a stone, flipping to land flat-footed with a solid thump and waves a hand dismissively at one of the couches, so he can throw himself onto the other to...

Yes. Continue jumping.]

[wildguardian]

[Yunlan promptly flops out on the new one, preparing to toss an arm over his face-- but he has to pause to watch Oswald's continued acrobatics.

After a moment, wondering:]

Where do you get the flipping energy?

[wastedluck]

It's aaaaall in the legs, pal.

[He reaches the top of his arc again and stays there, long enough to yank one leg off with a loud suction-cup pop where it goes into his shorts, and waves it at Yunlan, before he puts it back on and completes his fall. This time he lands on his tail, ears flopping dramatically with the aborted momentum, and he flops backwards with a loud sigh, soo that the only parts Yunlan can see are his legs, sticking out off the couch cushions, and his ears propped against the backrest.]

But seriously, it's not like I got anything else ta do with it. You see a gym around here? A runaway trolley I can wrangle? This place is built for toddlers. [And his hands flail into view in an exasperated motion.]

[wildguardian]

I'd comment on the runaway trolley bit, but you know what, you can pull your own legs off, I'll believe you can do whatever you darn well want to.

This place is built for toddlers. I'm not a fan myself.

[wastedluck]

I'd show you one a' my movies, but they're too violent fer this place.

[There might be a bit of vindictiveness there, but he thinks that's deserved.]

What I wouldn't give ta be able to go to town on this place like a bull in a china shop.

[wildguardian]

What's stopping you? With that hangtime, it'd be a heck of a challenge for any attendant to pull you down.

[wastedluck]

Yeah, but only if it's funny.

[Those ear sink down out of sight, and with no apparent in-betweens he flops head and shoulders over the arm of Yunlan's couch to see him properly.]

That's how this whole kit an' kaboodle werks, fer me. If someone don't have a sense a' humour, all the tricks in the book are just gonna bounce off them. Sometimes literally.

[wildguardian]

You've got... what, humor-driven powers?

Wait -- are you an Attendant around here, or a Patient?

[He'd assumed the latter, from Oswald's attitude, but don't the prisoners around here have their powers turned off?]

[wastedluck]

I was an Assistant, when I first came here. Then I lost my cool at someone, and boom. [He blows a loud, wet raspberry.] Instant demotion.

[He pushes himself up and into the air, swinging his legs around so he's straddling the arm of the couch, and folds his arms over his chest as he slumps back.]

I don't work the same as you humans. All this monkey business, it's literally what I am. They took away some a' my more dangerous tricks- [And his ears form fingers to make exaggerated air quotes.] -but I'm still a Toon, through and through.

[wildguardian]

Huh. Okay! Never heard of anybody like you existing face-to-face in the real world, but the multiverse is full of wonders and all that stuff.

So! As long as somebody thinks it's funny, you can pull all kinds of wild escapes, but if you run into a real stone-faced ash-hole, you're stuck, huh?