theclipper_tlv | Chapter 16

[ She looks directly at the camera, smiling faintly even if it doesn't reach her eyes. Those eyes are... something else, bright gold, with red circles within that almost seem like they swirl as you look at them, drawing you in. ]

Hello. My name is Makima.

I'm here to help.

Anyone who has issues in controlling themselves. Or controlling their temper. Controlling their sadness. Anyone who's afraid of being overwhelmed or hurt, who doesn't know what to do. Anyone who just wants someone to make things simple and peaceful and easy...

We should talk.

[ Makima can be found in all sorts of places. After all, she doesn't need to be in the treehouse to look down at everyone, to watch over everyone. She sometimes is, because it's a nice view, but just as often, she's in the main common room, smiling sweetly and looking out for any trouble. She wanders into the sick ward just as often to see if there's anyone who might want to make a deal with her there, but she doesn't linger.

When she's not 'working', she'll be found in her room, staring (seemingly) at nothing at all. She's still smiling then, always smiling, but there's something missing in her eyes. That's why she makes sure she's behind a door before she does it.

So she doesn't bring down the mood. ]

[ ooc: Makima is the devil of control and can do all sorts of things with people's minds and memories. She'd be more than happy to erase all your sadness so you can be happy enough to leave. How's that for a way out? ]

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Oh, I think I can manage.

[ Iris can't and she knows it, but there it is. ]

But I do owe you an apology. I was lied to and I chose to believe it, and I were very unfair to you on account of it.

Are you offering lobotomies?

No. If that was what I was offering, it's what I'd have said.

[ There's a short pause. ]

He wasn't going to tell you until I made it his payment for our deal. All he did was take from me.

It just sounds like you're saying it without really saying it.

And if I was going to say it, I would.

That's not what I'm offering.

That's also not what a lobotomy offers.

Boy, you really should look up the history of lobotomies. It's grisly stuff!

So what can you do?

If you want, I can remove all of the memories that would make you sad.

You'd still be you, but I'd replace them with nice memories, full of people who love you.

I can change your memories so that you'd remember other people instead of the ones that aren't here, the ones you miss.

That's the most direct. But I can also help you control yourself. Control your emotions. Control your own thoughts.

I won't unless you ask me to. And I only want to help.

[Steve desperately wishes he could contact her privately. But he can't. So he does the next best thing: He finds her in person in the common room.]

Hey. You said people should talk to you if they needed help... controlling things.

[He doesn't, but he remembers how terrified B was of her potentially doing those things, how badly he's taking things here, and it's probably stupid to try to talk to Makima about it, but here he is, anyway.]

You meant with your powers, right?

I'd like to think 'e's growing away from behaving like that. But I'm very sorry you caught the bad side of 'im, lovey.

I do hope 'e's all right.

Not soon enough to help me.

[ She is, however, nice enough not to say that she doesn't hope that. Nadja asked her to be nice to Iris. ]

Nadja asked me to give you another chance.

[ This is the only reason I'm talking to you. Just to be clear with her. ]

I do.

[ She presses her lips together and her eyes are blank. Emotionless. Pointedly so. ]

I'm not violating free will. I'm not forcing anyone. I'm asking if anyone wants this. It's a way to leave this place. And hopefully stay away.

This Nurse checks in on her patients even after they leave. I'm trying to help.

[Norton doesn't seek Makima out specifically, his questions aren't that urgent, but when he sees her in the treehouse he detours to talk.]

Interesting offer you made earlier. That is, I'm interested. I don't think I need it now...but I might. I need to stay an Assistant and get my deal no matter what.

[All the effort on the barge to protect himself from mind control or memory alteration, and now he might volunteer for it. Because it's an easy solution and better than being dead.]

I feel you won't be getting the number of responses that you ought to be getting.

[ the people here have so many problems and can't seem to work out that you just have to stop having those issues in order to graduate. surely it's not that hard?? ]

Probably. But hopefully if I get enough, others will see the benefits.

I'll keep it in mind, Norton. Just let me know when you need help.

I know. It's good that you asked.

But do you really think this is the way to help people? Not what the Nurse wants. But really how to help them.

Do you know that it's not?

What is 'really' helping them?

What is the goal of any person?

Some people seek truth, but other people seek happiness. Don't people get to decide what they want?

And the way I do what I do doesn't ruin anyone's liver.

[There's a sigh.] You know, I might've let you do it to me. There was a really long time when I just wanted a fresh start.

But happiness aside - because the Nurse's kind of happiness is bullshirt. Happiness aside, if you take those things away from someone, control them for them... are they really themselves anymore?

I won't speak to the Nurse's happiness.

Do you think someone has to have their unhappiness to be themselves? Do you think they can't be someone unique and wonderful without it? That they don't deserve the chance to learn who they could have been or could be without that pain or without that lack of control destroying things around them. Destroying parts of them or the things they care about.

There's a sanctity to what someone is in your view, it seems, that I don't feel. I was formed by the fears of human beings. I didn't get to decide any of what I am, or any of what I want, or any of what I feel. The freedom to feel lost and alone and hopeless. That doesn't feel like freedom to me.

But maybe I'm different.

I don't know. I do think that it's tempting. Of course it is.

[There had been a long, long time when he'd desperately wanted nothing more than to just forget how badly he'd treated Bucky. How much he'd messed up. When he'd wished someone could erase his memories. Erase who he was and let him start again.

But,] Freedom doesn't always mean happiness. Honestly, it usually doesn't. And if you were formed from fear, then you must know how afraid some people are of happiness, too.

There's a tomato devil. A raw chicken devil.

What people are afraid of isn't a very good metric.

But it's just as easy to try and see things as simple. To say 'truth is best' and 'honesty is freedom'. In practice, I've never found that to be the case.

My truth always led to hatred and unhappiness. My truth led to being a tool or an enemy.

Is your goal to convince me or to make sure people see your arguments and ignore my offer?

If I do it, I want as little changed as possible. Maybe something like what we discussed on the barge, where feelings aren't changed, I can manage to keep those looking light, I think, just a tiny nudge to keep me from doing anything that will ruin this for myself. This ship seems to be mostly fine with me the way I am, but sometimes even someone nonviolent like me slips up and does a teensy bit of murder and that's clearly not going to go over well here.

I'm already really good at self-control.

What's the catch, Makima?

Zack...has had quite a time. Between being detained, worried, and (frankly) more than a little uncomfortable being stuck in a white room for who knows how long, when he finds himself on the Clipper, it's...well. More than a little jarring.

He pulls himself together a bit before he sets out to explore...and it just so happens, that shock of red hair is the first familiar thing he sees.

"Makima? Makima, is that you??"

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Chapter 16 | The First Taste

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