Audio/Spam

[mrballisticsdummy]

[Anyone who's met Jacobi for more than fifteen seconds would be forgiven in thinking that this isn't Jacobi. This isn't the same man who packed explosives gleefully while being a sarcastic brat all at the same time. But Jacobi knows this. He knows what this is. So he's cheerful in a way that he had to once be literally programmed into.]

Hey guys! This isn't so bad, right? We're definitely going to be alright, aren't we? I mean! At least we have some food and water and a place to sleep! That's progress and something we can look forward to! We just need to work together and keep our chins up, right?

[Spam]

[It's easy to play the part when he isn't actually with anyone else. But Jacobi is frayed at the edges, and he knows that this won't last. There's even a time when he wishes for the regulator again. The very thing that had taken his freedom from him. And those times are when he paces his room like a caged tiger.

And that room is as much his prison as he makes it. Jacobi doesn't leave his room except when forced to work or forced to sing or forced to be social. He will take visitors, but he won't be pleasant to be around. He knows he can't graduate that way, but it just feels so good to be angry. Especially at first.]

Comments

[mrballisticsdummy]

No. I've been around that before. People who were forced to be happy and so forking - ugh - cheerful. It was against their will, too.

[He moves over a little.]

If I pull a string and ask how you work here when the rest of us aren't cartoons, will the whole sweater fall apart?

[wastedluck]

[Oswald shrugs both shoulders as he leans back on his hands.]

What, you tryin' ta make me all existential and bunk? I got made by a human, I got a buncha cartoon movies put out about me, then I got crammed in the back a' the closet an' forgotten about.

[His ears tip dramatically as he looks back at Jacobi.]

When you're watchin' a cartoon, yer supposed t'act like they're real people, right? So all the other folks here, you all think everyone's a real person like you. You only got one, eh... one dimension.

[mrballisticsdummy]

[He blinks.]

Like...a literal closet?

[That's what he's choosing to focus on.]

[wastedluck]

What, a Toon can't use one a' dem metty-fores?

[There's a wry tone to that comeback, though, and he flops onto his back, spread-eagle.]

We got dis wizard, Yen Sid? He made this special world for us, called it the Wastelands - on account a' that's where all the real-world waste went. Old characters, old merchandise, all a' that crap. If it's got a Disney sticker and it went down the stinker, I got copies a' that in triplicate.

[mrballisticsdummy]

Wait wait wait. Are you Disney? Because if you're not Disney, I'm pretty sure you can't say Disney without The Mouse coming and taking your house, your first born, and your soul.

[wastedluck]

Hey- before there was The Mouse, there was The Rabbit.

[One of his ears lifts up and the tip folds into a thumbs up, so it can jerk the thumb to point back down at Oswald.]

I am the first-born. But apparently bunnies ain't as marketable or somethin'.

[mrballisticsdummy]

[That's a neat trick that still makes Jacobi cringe a little.]

Well, you do seem a bit like a jerk, so that might be part of it. [But he doesn't say it like it's a bad thing.]

[wastedluck]

Da term is "personality animation".

[Not that he sounds offended.]

Makes it H-E-double-hockey-sticks ta stay graduated, though.

[mrballisticsdummy]

Stay graduated? How many times have you graduated?

[wastedluck]

[He takes a big breath and heaves a long sigh.]

I'll tell ya this much, the third time ain't no charm. I just un-graduated. Can't make it through the darn probationary period.

[mrballisticsdummy]

Yeah, I've heard that's a pain in the - lower region.

[He shrugs.] How did you do it the first time?

[wastedluck]

Well, I came here ta be an Assistant. I figured if I could just pretend ta be like that again, I'd be all hunky dory. The power a' friendship.

[He claps both hands above him and parts them to form a small, glittering rainbow as he says that, that sparkles out of existence.]

Only- like you said. I got a temper. I got a week into probation before someone tugged on my ears one too many times an' I went loco.

[mrballisticsdummy]

[He sniffs at that.]

The power of friendship, yeah. I could probably fake it better if I had my friends.

Or a drink.

[wastedluck]

[Oswald heaves another sigh.]

Never thought I'd live ta miss moonshine.

[mrballisticsdummy]

My fiancé makes me drinks, usually. And he makes a mean vodka sour.

That's what I want. Or - no. A beer and a burger.

[He settles back down with a laugh.]

[wastedluck]

Can't go wrong with da classics.

[His ears flop slightly as he shifts his hands behind his head.]

Yer man ain't here neither? Ain't all a' youse comin' in from the same place?

[mrballisticsdummy]

[He sinks down a bit into the bed.]

Nah. There are a lot of us here, but not all of us. And on our ship, I just graduated.

[wastedluck]

Youch.

[Despite the stupid word, he does sound sincere, and he sits up again to look at the human.]

That's real rough, pal. You got all kinds a' screwed over.

[mrballisticsdummy]

You're telling me.

But I wasn't leaving by myself. So. Stupid loyalty got me here.

[wastedluck]

Loyalty ain't the worst thing in the world. But... yeah. I'm sorry that it still got you here.

[He stares at Jacobi for a few seconds.]

What's yer name, anyhow?

[mrballisticsdummy]

Jacobi.

[He stares back a moment.]

You're not so bad, if I can get past the missing a dimension thing.

[wastedluck]

[That gets a chuckle out of Oswald.]

Hey, who said I'm the one with the wrong number a' dimensions here?

[mrballisticsdummy]

Because your digestive tract makes no sense. That's why.