Daniel Jacobi (
mrballisticsdummy) wrote in
theclipper_tlv2022-08-01 05:42 pm
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Audio/Spam
[Anyone who's met Jacobi for more than fifteen seconds would be forgiven in thinking that this isn't Jacobi. This isn't the same man who packed explosives gleefully while being a sarcastic brat all at the same time. But Jacobi knows this. He knows what this is. So he's cheerful in a way that he had to once be literally programmed into.]
Hey guys! This isn't so bad, right? We're definitely going to be alright, aren't we? I mean! At least we have some food and water and a place to sleep! That's progress and something we can look forward to! We just need to work together and keep our chins up, right?
[Spam]
[It's easy to play the part when he isn't actually with anyone else. But Jacobi is frayed at the edges, and he knows that this won't last. There's even a time when he wishes for the regulator again. The very thing that had taken his freedom from him. And those times are when he paces his room like a caged tiger.
And that room is as much his prison as he makes it. Jacobi doesn't leave his room except when forced to work or forced to sing or forced to be social. He will take visitors, but he won't be pleasant to be around. He knows he can't graduate that way, but it just feels so good to be angry. Especially at first.]
Hey guys! This isn't so bad, right? We're definitely going to be alright, aren't we? I mean! At least we have some food and water and a place to sleep! That's progress and something we can look forward to! We just need to work together and keep our chins up, right?
[Spam]
[It's easy to play the part when he isn't actually with anyone else. But Jacobi is frayed at the edges, and he knows that this won't last. There's even a time when he wishes for the regulator again. The very thing that had taken his freedom from him. And those times are when he paces his room like a caged tiger.
And that room is as much his prison as he makes it. Jacobi doesn't leave his room except when forced to work or forced to sing or forced to be social. He will take visitors, but he won't be pleasant to be around. He knows he can't graduate that way, but it just feels so good to be angry. Especially at first.]
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He gives a wan smile. "It was a condition of them hiring me. Couldn't leave all the animals back on the Barge with nobody there to look after them. Also, I made a case to the Nurse for petting animals being well-known to reduce stress and increase happiness."
He motions at Jacobi with his single remaining hand, still holding Libby's leash. "Figured I'd offer for you to have a go, if you wanted. Thought it might help a little."
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He shifts the leash to his wrist and leans down a little to scratch behind Libby's ears, himself. "I didn't convince anybody, I was just asked if I wanted to stay in that tiny white room alone, or go help out on a ship where they're trying to make people happier." He looks away, down at Libby. "I think it's cuz I'm really good at pretending to be okay, which is all that matters. Lots of practice."
There's probably more to it, of course, but the pretending he figures is the important part.
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Jacobi sniffs. "I'm pretending as best I can, but uh - I need therapy for what it took for me to act like that."
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He sighs a bit, leaning back against the wall by the door, hand still on Libby's head. "And then the Nurse... checks up on us now and then. Out in the world. To make sure we're still 'happy'." Which is so, so wrong.
cw: suicidal mention
But he knows the truth of it. The truth of it is that if he has to live like this, he'd rather - not.
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"Can you look after Taylor, though? She's - not doing well." He gestures to a small mattress on the floor. "And she's staying with me, but I can't keep an eye on her all the time."
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"I ran into Taylor earlier, yeah. I'll keep an eye on her when she's out and about, do what I can. It's gotta be so disorienting. Wish I knew anything about training dogs to be service dogs, I'd try'n get D to lead her around." He won't separate Libby from Steve, but D could certainly be put to work. If he knew how to teach him.
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But he does trust him to not get T hurt. That's the important part. Jacobi doesn't have anyone on this ship - he might as well keep her safe.
"I don't know why she landed here. Why this place was the most suited to her."
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