Blue Jay Way

[everythinglost]

Who: Fitz & open
What: Getting the lay of the land
When: Early August
Where: around the Clipper
Warnings: tba if needed

Fitz is well aware that it says something about his lifestyle that the Clipper reminds him of several places he's ended up over the years. On the other hand, being chained in a dank basement would also remind him of many places he's been over the years, so he generally figures it's not worth thinking about. The familiarity isn't a good thing - and the lack of cigarettes, drinks or a fudging door just rub in a short list of what he hates about it. But it does stop any particular outbursts of anger. He's not resigned to it, so he keeps his cool.

For the most part, he goes through the motions of playing along. He slouches, half-asleep in the common room during singalong, wincing occasionally. He reads in an overly comfortable chair, trying not to roll his eyes too often at the content. He tries to find someone to sit with during meals, and even actually enjoys the bathhouse. But, while he usually can't muster up actual cheer, there is a certain focus under the surface, which can be rare to see in him.

He's also doing his best to keep an eye on his friends, to see how they're handling it all. After all, part of 'familiar' also means knowing how much it sucks to play along - and some of the consequences to failing to play the part.

Comments

[wildguardian]

"No reason not to be," Yunlan agrees wryly. Well -- maybe the worries that might come along about what had happened to him, and how he'd ended up here, and how long he'd been trapped on this shithole of a ship. But:

"It's nice seeing people you've missed."

[everythinglost]

The Doctor is always in trouble, and sometimes it catches up enough that he has to take on a whole new body - which must mean a lot of trouble, considering what Fitz has seen him survive. But, at the same time, his faith in the Doctor is too solid for that to matter on any level other than the surface.

"It is. I get to hear about the massive amounts of trouble he's no doubt been in, just to start."

[wildguardian]

"All those exciting adventures you didn't nearly die in! That sounds fun."

He shakes his head after a moment. "You know, you've talked him up to me so much that the real thing is never going to compare now."

[everythinglost]

"Gotta tell him about how great the future is."

He shrugs. "People always say that, then they realize I was telling the truth." He pauses. "I could be offended at the amount of surprise they sometimes have when they say that, but I chose to be the better person."

[wildguardian]

"You have to admit, you sound pretty biased when he's the topic of conversation," Yunlan teases gently.

[everythinglost]

"He's my best friend, of course I'm biased. I'm well aware why there are people who don't get along with him, discounting the ones that are just evil, but I don't care about any of that. But I blame dismissing everything else I say about him as people just not being able to believe because of the world being a flawed place and shirt."

[wildguardian]

"Hey, I'm taking no stances on it!" Yunlan says easily. He hasn't developed an extremely high opinion of the Doctor, in any case, from taking the things Fitz says about him as Fitz's exact truth.

"I'll meet him first, then I'll tell you how much of your stories I should've believed."

[everythinglost]

"All the ones where I was super cool are completely true."

A quality that doesn't actually show up much in his stories, so it is a more limited pool.

"So, have you been doing anything besides thinking thoughts about woodchucks?"

[wildguardian]

"Oh, you know. Just hanging out. Talking to people from back on the Barge, trying to figure out what the fork this place is like, wondering how to find out where they stuffed Shen Wei if it's not here...."

[everythinglost]

"How does he do in singalongs?" There are a number of people who aren't here who Fitz hopes are doing okay, but spending too long on that won't help. His expression grows more serious, and more honest.

"I'm a big proponent of lying all over couches, contemplating the universe, but something something about other people enjoying good things in moderation. I know how much this sort of environment can get to people, and not just those who respond to 'beatings will continue until morale improves'. Too much of this... sugar to the brain can be hard to take."

[wildguardian]

"Gorgeous voice, can't imagine he'd get into the singalong spirit," Yunlan says. He's worried as hell, himself. But spending too long on it... wouldn't help, that's true enough.

"And if this is sugar, it's poisoned, in my opinion."

[everythinglost]

"A shame. That's the one part I think would've been good for the Barge. Stir up some exciting new grudges on important subjects."

He waves a hand. "It usually is. Often with emotion controlling drugs, which is why it's important to check in about them."

[wildguardian]

"They do have those padded rooms down in medical," Yunlan muses.

[everythinglost]

"Yeah, which I think I could live with avoiding."

[wildguardian]

"They've got the emotion controlling drugs vibe for sure."

He huffs out a breath, shaking his head. "So how are you feeling?"

[everythinglost]

"Not bad." He grins. "Which, of course, could be the antidepressants int the water. It's why beer is generally the safer option."

He spins the lollipop between his fingers.

"I'm not exactly hanging up the banners, but a vivid imagination means I had a number of worse possibilities going on. I hate this sort of place, but it's not my first time dealing with them, and potential drugs aside, there's been a lot less direct brain forking than they often have."

[wildguardian]

"What I wouldn't give for an open lounge here! Even one that the attendants had to let us into," Yunlan mourns. "I get why there isn't one, kids and all, but still."

He lets out a vast, deliberately dramatic sigh.

"I'm not fond of this kind of place, but honestly I'd be dealing better if it weren't for the 'we won't tell you a darn thing about where anyone else went, just think happy thoughts and you'll fly away like a pretty butterfly' aspect. If I just flipping knew where everyone was--"

-- and that they were okay, if annoyed, too--

[everythinglost]

"Most of them are older enough to have a drink or two, as long as there's someone keeping an eye out."

He would not use himself as an example of turning out fine, but there are far too many things that go into that to blame drinks.

"Considering who all they let on here, they probably aren't drifting in space." It's not great, but it's important to hold onto something. "Though I don't know why people say it's all think happy thoughts. Have you looked at the not-Wardens? Your thought sure as flip don't have to be happy."

[wildguardian]

"Fine! Fine. Put on a happy face, then."

Although, to be fair, it seems like saying they're happy and they think happy thoughts is an important part of the masquerade. Yunlan grimaces.

[everythinglost]

"It's an important difference! I have multiple experiences with brainwashing to fallback on to prove my point. Have I told you about that time when they made me think I got some sort of feeling of contentment out of farming?"

He shakes his head, still able to summon up horror at the memory.

[wildguardian]

"Farming. Farming, really? You have not told me this story, Fitz." It's even worth pushing himself up on his elbows from the Couch of Despond.

[everythinglost]

"No? Probably because it's a blow to even speak of it again. This was part of when I was brainwashed by the Red Army using... brainwashing and alien space drugs. It was like, I sure do feel a sense of personal fulfillment about rice fields or whatever they're called." He shakes his head again. "Awful."

[wildguardian]

"Paddies," Yunlan offers, with a wince. "Fair enough. Not that it's impossible to gain genuine and sincere personal fulfillment from farming but you know, I think that should be left to the people who feel it naturally."

[everythinglost]

"I'm sure some people do, and considering the amount to time when farming is necessary, that's probably a good thing. I certainly have never felt anything close to it naturally. Honestly, more disturbing than the whole 'I have ideology now' part. Both because I did mostly fail to actually have ideology, and also 'cause if I had and it did make me feel personally fulfilled, that would probably be slightly less unnatural."

[wildguardian]

"You know," Yunlan observes, "there's something ironic in the fact that the farming whammy took more than the ideology whammy did, considering that."