Chapter 16 | The First Taste

[dog_lover]

[ She looks directly at the camera, smiling faintly even if it doesn't reach her eyes. Those eyes are... something else, bright gold, with red circles within that almost seem like they swirl as you look at them, drawing you in. ]

Hello. My name is Makima.

I'm here to help.

Anyone who has issues in controlling themselves. Or controlling their temper. Controlling their sadness. Anyone who's afraid of being overwhelmed or hurt, who doesn't know what to do. Anyone who just wants someone to make things simple and peaceful and easy...

We should talk.

[ Makima can be found in all sorts of places. After all, she doesn't need to be in the treehouse to look down at everyone, to watch over everyone. She sometimes is, because it's a nice view, but just as often, she's in the main common room, smiling sweetly and looking out for any trouble. She wanders into the sick ward just as often to see if there's anyone who might want to make a deal with her there, but she doesn't linger.

When she's not 'working', she'll be found in her room, staring (seemingly) at nothing at all. She's still smiling then, always smiling, but there's something missing in her eyes. That's why she makes sure she's behind a door before she does it.

So she doesn't bring down the mood. ]

[ ooc: Makima is the devil of control and can do all sorts of things with people's minds and memories. She'd be more than happy to erase all your sadness so you can be happy enough to leave. How's that for a way out? ]

Comments

[punched_hitler]

I understand that it's difficult. I've seen people give up parts of themselves before.

[Lark did it for him, years ago. He's never forgiven himself for it.

He just thinks there has to be a better way.

But he can't stop her. He knows that, too. He can't make that choice for people. He just hates seeing it offered, knowing the damage it could do.]

Fine. I guess there isn't anything left to say.

[dog_lover]

And people give up parts of themselves all the time. People make choices about what matters to them. Unless you live in paradise, those choices need to be made. And I've been told that paradise isn't possible. That part of what makes someone up is the choices they make.

So shaming people for making them doesn't help them move forward.

Just because it isn't your choice doesn't mean that it shouldn't be a choice. And if someone has the power to offer it and they don't, then they're putting their choices over what someone else might want.

And I'm trying not to do that.

[punched_hitler]

I understand that you think you're giving them a choice. but I've learned that just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. Part of learning to live with power is knowing when not to use it, or you don't deserve it.

[dog_lover]

[ The staggering paternalism from this human makes her want to not answer. She will say one thing, though. ]

My power is what I am. I am my power. Your point of "I'm not sure you deserve to exist" is not as helpful as you think it is.

[ Now she's done. ]

[punched_hitler]

That wasn’t how I meant it.

Is your power all you want to be?

[dog_lover]

That question is deliberately manipulative. Especially given what I just said.

Is a human all you want to be?

Is a patient all you want to be?

You keep talking about the sanctity of someone's whole self. And then you ask me that.

If someone was made of water and they were trying to figure out how to nurture a plant instead of how to drown someone and your question to help them was 'is water all you want to be'...

Can you see how stupid that is?

[punched_hitler]

There’s a fine line between nurturing and drowning. Maybe I don’t know the difference - do you?

[dog_lover]

You think there's one answer?

[punched_hitler]

Maybe not, but there is at least one.

[dog_lover]

I think there's a lot of answers. So many that trying to decide by myself is unfair. Because every plant's need is different. And drowning them may not be visible even if it's happening.

[punched_hitler]

No, it might not be. Which means if you're trying not to, you have to look deeper than just appearances.

[dog_lover]

I'd be more inclined to listen to the plants themselves.

[punched_hitler]

You know, a lot of people say that, but I'm never sure whether they actually understand what it entails.

If you do, though, then - good.

[dog_lover]

This is a genuine question and not sarcasm: are you aware of how condescending and insulting you've been during most of this discussion?

Especially in that last comment.

If you're not aware, I want you to be aware of that.

If you were aware and you continued, I would like to know what the point was.

[punched_hitler]

[Steve frowns.]

No. I'm not trying to be condescending at all. I'm just trying to explain why I don't think what you're offering is the answer.

[dog_lover]

And my counterpoint is that I accept, have accepted, that it isn't your answer.

But to insist that it might not be another person's answer is hubris.

I have this ability. To decide that I know better than someone who might see this as a way out of an inescapable situation is also hubris. To not offer it if someone feels that it is their only way out is cruelty.

[punched_hitler]

[Steve lets out a slow breath. It's maybe the same kind of argument people have made to him, time and again. It's the kind that has, for better or worse, started sticking - that he's never learned how to square with himself.

And with everything going on, with where he is and what he is...]

All right. You're an Assistant, after all. You must know better.

[It's not as backhanded as it could be; there is genuine defeat, closure, in his voice. But there is, admittedly, a tiny bit of defiance, too.

He's done, though. So unless she grabs for him, he's going to walk away. And probably stew over it, but not enough to bring it back up again. Or ever tell B about this.]

[dog_lover]

[ After the rest of the discussion, after the things he'd knowingly and unknowingly said, she can't hear anything but the backhandedness. ]

That must be it.

[ Sweet as candy and done with him, after, after he'd shown himself to be even worse than most humans. ]

Good day, Mr. Rogers.